Still

Bothered and Uncomfortable

Whah! What was it? So, I wanted to be on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” to play a game, though maybe I would be better off making my own internet show. I don’t know how I’ll get the money, maybe after I see if I make it in the Disney night parade as Tinkerbell or Alice if I grew an inch, then I can keep going to AMTC and try to get in a movie and then make an internet show.

So, I used to have a secret wish to be with different people forever. I wouldn’t outwardly do it. I mean, I was very private at the time. I’m just irritated people like I’m Portia, which for her apparently no 1 cares. They just don’t want me to think @ anything.

Come on, why do you have an accepted secret wish and I jut keep getting bombarded with attacks to my conscience? I know you don’t seem to be living your wish, like me before. That wish goes away. I don’t think I can change how I feel, which is not some outlandish thing. Like, wouldn’t you like it .. I had a vision I was famous and was a classroom teacher.

So, no, not that I am conscious of do I wish to like always get to be with someone like you know Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Ellen DeGeneres, anyone. I do feel very provoked about things like that. I shouldn’t be made to feel “embarrassed.” I am not like worse than anyone else. I just feel I’d made it. I don’t like being considered not good enough when others are!

I am a happy person alone and do seek out to meet people. I can take videos and stuff to remember and talk @ it online. Yea, I mean, if Portia is with Ellen, why wouldn’t anyone be able to try to meet her more than once? You know, if you are a good person, she might read your blog online, hope you get 1 and assume you’re ready. It’s nice just to be on someone’s good side. I would feel crushed if like I were rejected. I mean, I had some problems, and maybe it’s over for me and I have to accept it, but I’m guessing not.

Well, not sure what else there is to say. I mean, I like following the show each day. I like following her online. Maybe, people aren’t “ready” and don’t know how they will be and who can help them out how. If there was no online, I mean I dunno I guess I’d just wanna meet her if I watch the show. I don’t know what people think the TV is. Maybe, they are just ready to talk @ it with someone, how it’s just fun to share the experience. Later, a girl got on her show.

Well, okay..

But, no, I have no further desire to be with someone like coo coo, like some people might. I’d like to make a poll somewhere and find out. Maybe post it on my forum. I can make a poll there, too.

Okay..

You see, there is a difference between always being with someone, someone like Portia no better than anyone but no worse or whatever, and then there’s a difference between having healthy visits. I think Ellen is off-limits, not sure why she has Portia, maybe so no 1 will tell her to marry. I mean, you could try to get on her show more than once somehow and try to talk to her then, like her crew, you know? Wny does she talk to the crew?! I hope you don’t judge that as inappropriate.

This is getting too long, I have to practice singing. Guess ya’ll think this is pretty funny and convenient. You wanna judge me like Johnny Depp, something that’s not really there that I’m not aware of, doesn’t seem to get me.

Guess I still wonder @ Portia. All I can say is we all wanna know Ellen, too. She seems a bit sarcastic|over-and-above. Lots of people talk @ her. And yea, lots of people are sarcastic, of course. So, what’s the point of being famous? You don’t really like kids all that much? I was gonna be a teacher of all ages. You don’t like what you teach ’cause I was gonna teach music? To clarify, yes, Portia is unique in a good way. She looks cute, but I mean before apparently things were different. Whose turn is it? Not mine! You go! I mean, what, they’re just gonna stay married unless they do a divorce?? I just don’t like how Portia is always right. Ellen is scared to make her mad, like Tim Burton and his wo’ld (world.)

Well, okay, need to finish up more.